CIRCLE - Chapter 2

 CIRCLE

Chapter 2


When I wake up, the first thing I see is Ai-chan and Gaki-san faces. They’re sitting on the sofa and kissing. Ai-chan is cupping her girl friend’s neck with her hand, and Gaki-san’s is wrapping her arms around Ai-chan’s waist. They even don’t notice me at all. What’s the hell they are doing? Making out here, in my room? When I’m in this mood?
“Oh, you’re awake, Sayu?” Ai-chan finally sees me.
In fact, I can only sleep a little last night. I feel so tired now. I get up and look around. Koharu isn’t here. Maybe what happened last night is just a dream. I’ll never believe that there is a kiss between me and Koharu. For me, she’s always a naughty kid.
“What’s the hell you two are doing in my room?”
“Why do you ask a question like that? We’re here to look after you, Sayu-chan~~~” Ai-chan leans to kiss me on my cheek.
“But why can you two be here?”
 “When we come, the door is unlocked…”
Unlocked? Maybe I forgot to lock my room yesterday. Damn it.
Gaki-san looks at me hesitatingly. Then she holds my hands.
“Eri gets us to come here and see you. She’s worried about you. Please don’t hate her, Sayu. She’s hurt, too.”



I suddenly realize that I have forgotten what happened yesterday between me and Eri. I don’t want to remember it anymore. When I hear her name, I feel as if my heart is stifled. It’s really all over, right? To look back, the period of time when I’m with Eri is like a dream. Everything is unreal.  In fact, sometimes I had feeling that our relationship is not love. I also predict that she will break up with me. But I never think it will be so quick like this, so clear-cut like this.

Sayumi, you have looked everything through color of pink spectacles for such a long time, haven’t you?

I feel so lonely now…

“Sayumi?” Ai-chan’s voice stops my thought.
“Ah…uhm… don’t worry, I’m OK now.”
It’s fake. I know I’m not OK at all.
There’s a knock on the door. And Koharu comes in with a lot of things in her hand. Maybe they’re food.
“I’m back!!” She shouts loudly, as usual.
I’m back?? She means that she has been here before?
“So look after Sayu-chan, Ok? We have to leave now. Remember there’s a dancing lesson at 1.p.m.” Ai-chan and Gaki-san stand up. “Please care for this princess carefully, Koharu-chan.” Ai-chan says with a teasing voice. I say goodbye to them before they leave my room.

“Do you want to eat anything, Shige-san?” Koharu smiles at me.
She looks as if there’s nothing happened. That look, that smile… there’s nothing changes. Perhaps what happened last night is really my imagination. However, why did I dream about Koharu like that, when Eri had broken up with me just a few hours before? There’re a lot of things I can’t understand. I feel like that I’m going to be mad now.
“Michishige-san?”
I realize that I haven’t answered her question yet.
“Uhm… I don’t want to eat anything now…”
Koharu comes near and sits next to me. I feel that my heart is beating quickly. I really want to ask her what happened last night, but I don’t’ know how to start. I ignore her concern look and go into the bathroom.

When I return, Koharu is tidying up the house.
“You needn’t do this, Koharu-chan! I can do it by myself.” I run to her. But she ignores me.
“Let me do this. You’re tired, right?”
“I’m not tired at all!”
“You must be tired, Shige-san. You have cried a lot last night, haven’t you?”
“Crying all night? How… how do you know that?”
She looks at me surprisingly for a while, then smiles with me.
“Oh, you really don’t remember anything? I was here last night, with you.”
My face turns red. I’m so embarrassed that I don’t know what to say. Then I try to calm down and ask her.
“Last night… Why did you do this?...”
“Last night?” She looks at me surprisingly. “Ah, you mean that kiss?”
My heart seems to stop beating now. It’s real. That kiss is real, not a dream. However, when I’m blushed and can’t stop thinking about it, there’s no change on Koharu’s face. All of this means nothing to her?
 She lets out an unnatural smile.
“It’s just because… When seeing you crying, I want to reassure you, but I don’t know what to do… so…”
“So you do this?” I’m really angry..
“You think I’m a kid, right? You think you can do whatever you want? For you, it doesn’t mean anything? You can do this for everyone easily, right?”
“Michishige-san?”
“What’s the hell you are doing? Why did you do this when you don’t have any feeling for me? Why did everyone like to treat me like that?” I cry out.
“How do you know that I don’t have any feeling for you?” She glares at me. She seems to be… angry?
“What do you know about my feeling for you? Do you understand anything?”
“I…”

Her look makes me so scared. She doesn’t say anything else. She just comes to me, pushes me on the bed and lies down on top of me. I’m really scared. She holds my hands and kisses me on the neck.
“Koharu-chan! Stop this!” I try to push her away, but she’s so damn strong now.
This isn’t Koharu-chan that I know. This isn’t the annoying but cute kid I know. This is a different Koharu, a frigid and scary Koharu.
“Stop this!”
I finally push her away. She bumps against the wall. It seems to be very hurt! I lean to see her, but she only bows her head in silence.
“Are you OK?” I concern.
I see her tears dropping on her face.
“You hate me, don’t you?” She says without looking at me.
“No at all! I just…”
“I’m sorry.” She continues to cry. “I’m just a kid… I have never fallen in love with anyone before…”
“Koharu-chan?...”
“So… When I’m in love with you, I really don’t know what to do…”

She said she loves me. I’m so surprised. I feel as if there’s warmth in my heart. This feeling might be happiness, but not completely. There’s something I can’t put into words. I have never had this feeling before.
She is still crying. I don’t know what to say. I lean to embrace her.
“Shige-san?”
“Call me Sayu, OK?”

I smile with her. She looks at me surprisingly.
I kiss on the tears on her cheek. Then I hold her waist with my arms and kiss her lips softly. She seems to be surprised for a while, but after that she starts to kiss me back. I kiss her more passionately and hold her more tightly. But she suddenly breaks our kiss.
“Sayu-chan, you need to sleep now. You didn’t sleep enough last night, did you? There’s a dancing lesson at 1.a.m…”
I let out a sigh. That’s right, I’m really sleepy now. But why can she break our kiss easily like that? I’m a little bit disappointed.
I lie next to her and hold her hand with mine. We look at each other and smile. Then I slowly close my eyes and fall asleep peacefully in her warmth.

Nee, Koharu-chan,
If this feeling is called happiness,
I think this is the first time I’m really happy.