CIRCLE
“What are you saying?”
Eri looks at me hesitatingly. Her look makes me feel as if I’m the most pitiful girl in this world.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“I’m so sorry, Sayumi…”
She doesn’t answer my question but looks down and continue to apologize.
“Please don’t say sorry anymore!” I cry out “It only means that what you’re saying is the truth!”
Eri looks into my eyes.
“It’s the truth, Sayu. I love Reina. I have tried to stop my feeling for her, but I can’t…”
“But you said that you loved me before!”
“Please forgive me, Sayu, I misunderstood my feeling for you… I’m so sorry about that…”
It’s the end. I feel my heart stifled. I run out of her room with an empty mind. I run, run and run. I’m in conflict with Koharu, but I only continue to run toward my room without seeing her.
It’s so hurt. I feel as if everyone in this world has abandoned me.
Eri, Reina and me joined Morning Musume after the Love Audition 6th Generation. Eri and I are always close friends, until she told me that she loved me.
“I love you.”
“I love you, Sayumi…”
Our group includes 9 members now. Ai-chan is the leader and Gaki-san is the sub-leader. They have been lovers for years. I always atmire Ai-chan, but it’s not love. I don’t feel jealous when I know Ai-chan loves Gaki-san. I even hope they will be happy together.
The 7th generation member is Kusumi Koharu. I’m her mentor when she joined us. I was very happy because of her appearance. I have wanted to have a cute sister for a long time. Actually, Koharu-chan is very cute, but complicated. She always annoys me, but I have never hated her. Althought I’m very irritated, when I see her cute smile, all of the irritation disappears immediately. I still don’t know the reason why.
The 8th Gen member is Mittsi, a cute and straightforward girl. She loves Koharu, that all members in this H!P know, but perhaps Koharu doesn’t know. Finally, JunJun and LinLin are 2 cute Chinese members of the 8th gen. Our group always changes members after a Love Audition. Being the member who has a weak voice, I try to be the cutest and prettiest in Morning Musume. However, I know, it’s not enough. So I usually try to improve my voice as much as possible. Eri was always by my side whenever I was sad or cried. She’s my best friend. She’s also the person I love. But now, it’s all over.
“Michishige-san?”
It’s Koharu.
“What happened?” She sits on my bed, near my side and ask with a concerned look.
I don’t say anything. I also don’t look at her.
“I can’t know it, right?”
I don’t look at her, but I can feel her sadness when she said that. I look up slowly.
“Eri said to me… She loves Reina…”
Koharu doesn’t say anything.
I start to cry. My tears can’t stop dropping. I don’t know what to do. All I can do is just crying.
“Please don’t cry, Michishige-san…”
I don’t know why, but when she said it, I even want to cry more.
Koharu stands up suddenly. Then it’s dark. I try to look away, but it’s too dark to see anything. Then I feel that she is come closely to me. I feel her breath. And I feel my lips are touched by hers. I can’t believe what is happening. She is really kissing me!!
I can’t react. I don’t know what to say or what to do. She stops kissing me and let me lie down on the bed. She lies next to me, holds me in a tight embrace and kisses away my tears. We say nothing at all. I sleep in her warm arms without thinking anything. It’s so warm. I feel like that I’m rescued from the pain. I don’t know that after this night, there are a lot of changes in my heart.
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